Have you ever told a best friend something and begged them not to tell. Later on you are talking with another
close friend and they question you on what you had told your best friend. Making you promise that you would not tell them
where you got your information. How did you feel? did you feel betrayed, hurt. Did you have a hard time believing that your
best friend betrayed you.
Have you ever allowed anyone to know your faults and you had the uttermost confidence in them that they would
pray for you and minister to you until you had them under control. Only to learn later that instead of praying for you. They
talked to others about your faults. Can you remember how hurt you were? Were there tears? Did you get angry? Did it cause
mistrust between the two of you. Did you vow never to trust or speak to them again.
Proverbs 11:13 in the niv-- tells us that "a gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret"
It is very easy to enjoy Gossiping. We can talk on the phone for hours about all the people we know. We can
talk about our spouses and our children. Telling there faults. but when we hear that one of our children have been talking
about us, we are devastated. Proverbs 16:28 in the niv says "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates
close friends." Talking about your spouse can put a wall between you faster than anything. Why would we want to talk about
the one person we love the most. Our spouse is suppose to be our closest friend our best friend. The bible compares the Husband
to Jesus and the wife to the church. Ephesians 6:22-25n says "wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto
the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your
wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; did you ever hear Jesus talking about the church?
Would you talk about Jesus? No, of course not! So if the bible compares us as a couple to Christ and the church. Do we have
the right to talk about each other. No! We do not.
When we see a fault in our mate or they make us angry, if we will just go to prayer for them, and let the
Holy spirit be our counselor instead of others we will find that the problem will be solved much faster. Ps 118:8 says
"it is better to trust in the lord than to put confidence in man." When we go to others we are breaking confidence with
our spouse and children. We are betraying them. When we talk to others about our spouse we are talking about ourselves for
in the bible God says we are one. Now how many of us are going to call someone and talk to them about ourselves. Not many!
so why would we talk about our spouse and family. Is it because we are angry at them? Are we trying to get back at them? Are
we trying to hut them? We need to ask ourselves some of these questions before we talk to anyone? When we search our own hearts
we may not talk at all. We are to be a confidant, we are to be trustworthy.
Proverbs 26:22 in the niv says " The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a mans inmost
parts. When your spouse hears that you have been talking about them. It cuts to the bone. No one could
have hurt them more. It stirs up strife and anger. Causing deviation in the home. Proverbs 14:1 says Better a dry morsel,
and quietness therewith, than a house full of sacrifices with strife. We can have a problem in our marriage and
if we go to god together praying about the situation and allowing the holy spirit to minister to both of you then answers
will come and healing will manifest. Proverbs 26:20 in the niv says "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel
I am not saying that there are not times when we need godly counsel. There probably will be or has been. But
before we say anything about our spouse or family we must know that when we go to someone that it is for council. That we
are not just wanting someone to symphize with us. It must be some one we know will pray with us and seek God on the situation
in our lives. It must be someone we know is close to God and has a intimate relationship with the father. Some one who will
not judge us or our spouse.
Lets say your spouse has been talking about you or you have been talking about them. What should you do? Should
you leave it alone and hope that it does not get back to them. Or should you go to them telling them what you have done and
seek forgiveness. Matthew 18:15 says Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between
thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. The bible says we must go to them and seek forgiveness.
And when that person comes to us seeking forgiveness we must forgive. Colossians 3:13,14 says Forbearing one another, and
forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any; even as Christ forgave you, so also doe ye. Above all these
things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectas.
When do have a choice we can choose to hold it against them or we can choose to forgive. We can either be
on the offense or the defense. If we choose the offense we would choose to either get back at them or get even. Or to be on
the defense we would build a wall vowing to never allow them to hurt us again. But we must choose to forgive. Matthew 6:14,15
says For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their
trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses
When this has happened it takes two people to get rid of the strife. The one who seeks forgiveness and the
one who forgives. Both must be willing to accept and forgive.